There Goes My Life
by Kitsune-Onna19
Summary: Don't give up so easily…


**Disclaimer :: **I don't own Bebop, _Desperately_ by George Strait, or _There Goes My Life_ by Kenny Chesney that's the song at the end. If I did own Bebop, Spike wouldn't have died and left Faye.  
  
Aren't ya proud? My first Bebop fic! Now read, and pls. give a good review! No flames! Also note, I copied this from the episode, and I don't like changing flashbacks. But I will insert thinking from Spike and Faye in a few places. And maybe add a few things. Sry if it's a little OOC! .

_Italics :: thoughts/flashbacks  
_Indents :: Song/Flashbacks**:::::::::::::**

  
  
Spike was walking toward the main hall of the Bebop, where Faye had been eavesdropping on his and Jet's conversation. As he passed by, she put her gun to his head.  
  
Where are you going? she asked. Spike gave her a dumbfounded look. _This lunk-head's not getting anywhere until he tells my what's going on _Why are you going?  
  
Silence.  
  
_If he's not gonna tell me, I'll get it outta him,_ Faye thought. She took the gun from his head. _But it's time for me to say something, that I should have said to him a while back. _You told me once to forget the past, cause it doesn't matter But you're the one still tied to the past, Spike!  
  
As if Spike wasn't listening, he came closer to her. _What's he think he's doing!? _she thought. Look in my eyes Faye. One of ems a fake because I lost it in an accident. Ever since then, I've been seeing the past in one eye, and the present in the other. So I thought I could only see patches of reality, never the whole picture, he said.   
  
_This can't be right I could understand him telling these things to Jet, or even Ein, but not me _Don't tell me things like that! You've never told me anything about yourself, so dont tell me now! Faye said, getting a little worried that this might not end up well. But Spike wasn't listening at all.  
  
I felt like I was watching a dream I would never wake up from, he said. She could only stare. Hmph. And before I knew it, the dream was all over, Spike said, walking away.  
  
_He decided to tell me something, so I'll tell him something even though it doesn't help me at all not like it would help him either though. _My memory finally came back, she told him. He stopped walking. But, nothing good came of it. There was no place for me to return to. This was the only place I could go. And now your leaving just like that! she shouted. Why do you have to go? Where are you going? What are you going to do? she began to cry, and that was only the beginning of the tears. Just throw your like away like it was nothing!?  
  
He didn't dare turn around to look at her. I'm not going there to die, Faye, Spike began. I'm going there to find out if I'm really alive. I have to do it Faye. And with that, he walked away into the darkness.  
  
_He's really is leaving, just like that _Her gun was loaded, and she aimed at him, at his thick head. _I can't bring myself to shot him why bother ending his life here? I can't kill someone I've come to love _Faye couldn't fire. She the five bullets up into the ceiling, not caring if Jet would get on to her about that or not.

**:::**

She just stood motionless in the same spot for a while. The only real thing that could ever worry her was Spike. Faye didn't care about her own life as much as she cared for him.  
  
Jet came down the hall on his way to the Bonsai room. Y'know, you're the one who's gonna pay for those holes up in that ceiling. He looked up. All five of em too.  
  
Faye didn't say anything. She wasn't even listening to him.   
  
Jet stood in front of her for a moment, just watching her stand and do nothing. You've been standing in the same spot ever since he left. This isn't good for you. Maybe you should eat something.  
  
For the first time since Spike left, Faye said something. This isn't good for_ him_ either And you just let him leave like that?!No, I let Spike leave because he has some business to take care of! I know if I were you, he would still probably be on this ship, but you have to understand that this is something important to him! Jet paused. He can't just stay around here for all of us. His past is important.  
  
And if he dies there, what are we going to do? Faye asked.  
  
I know I can get over that, he replied. You may be a different story though.  
  
Faye didn't answer after that. _Boy does he knowI think you should get some rest. Get up to your room, I think you can eat later, Jet said out of concern.  
  
Faye nodded and did as he told.  
  
__She's gonna carry that weight_ Jet thought, and headed off to the Bonsai room.

**:::**

He left. That was it. _I know he's gonna die there _Faye thought. _I can say it about a million times, and I'll just feel even worse   
  
_There were so many things going on in her head right now _I'm not going there to die, Faye. I'm going there to find out if I'm really alive. I have to do it Faye. _She took a deep breath. _I'm not going there to die Faye._  
  
_"…not to die Faye…"   
  
_She walked into her room and the door slammed shut beinhd her.   
  
_You say you're not going to dieI'm going there to find out if I'm really alive.How can you find out if your really alive when your dead? 

> I have to do it Faye

You don't have to do anything You don't have to die, but he's not going to die on purpose I know him, he would never do that_  
  
Faye sat down on the bed and turned the radio on. Apperantly they were playing old songs, but you know what they say, old songs are the best.  
  
_

> Desperately,

> I long to feel your touch

> But, you left me

> All alone in love

I don't wanna listen to these sappy love songs _She didn't want to listen to them, but with the little part of the song that she did hear, made her cry. She changed the station, and what she heard  
  
_

> And he cried

> There goes my life,

> There goes my future,

> My everything,

> I love you,

> Baby, good-bye

> There goes my life

_  
The song faded out, and now so did life on the Bebop. 

> > **_DON'T GIVE UP SO EASILY_**

  


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Salamat {Thanx} to my beta-reader, CrescentStrata, fireblazie, and Kenshinin for beta-reading my first Bebop fic! Pls. R&R!!! 


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